Bed of Lies
by Kyahbell
Summary: Oneshot. Songfic. Wrestlemania was meant to be the beginning of the rest of Shawn's life. " I know that it's weak but God help me I need this!" Undertaker and Shawn Michaels.Tame Slash.


**A/N:** This is another oneshot/songfic. The Song is "Bed of lies" by Matchbox20. The stuff in **_Bold italics_** are song lyrics. The stuff in _Italics_ is flashbacks and everything else is rambling by...me! I don't own anything of course. Not the song, not Undertaker, not HBK.... nothing nothing at all. This story looks much better in my head. I need someone to invent a recorder for my brain. That would be brilliant. In the mean time, thanks for reading... I hope you enjoy.

*Oh, and I apologise in advance for the inaccuracies concerning the Wrestlemania match... I started writing this before Wrestlemania and I wasn't going back to rewrite...I was too busy screaming at the television to take detailed notice for my story. I claim artistic licence!

Bed Of Lies.

The sound of the crowd, which was still cheering wildly, masked the fact that Shawn's heart had actually stopped beating. He stood, barely, in Taker's arms, as he had for the last five years, and for the first time he didn't feel like he was home. The warmth that came from Taker's large hands onto the skin of his bare back, didn't reach his bones. The truth that Shawn could see in his lover's green eyes hurt more than the Tombstone that had ended his career not five minutes ago. He wasn't going with him. That truth had not been visible for the last four months, although, if he admitted it to himself, he had felt it.

"_**No I would not sleep in this bed of lies**_

_**So toss me out and turn in**_

_**And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes**_

_**I'm marking it down to learning"**_

No. The word screamed in Shawn's head and he hoped that it would show in his eyes, through the tears. His whole body ached to scream it out loud, but now wasn't the place. Not in front of seventy odd thousand fans screaming his name. All those nights. All those long winter nights he lay wrapped in Taker's arms. Wrapped in those lies. Thinking about his retirement. Their retirement. Because what would any of it be if Taker wasn't with him, in their home, enjoying their time together? It would be nothing.

"_**I don't think that I could take another empty moment.**_

_**I don't think that I could fake another hollow smile.**_

_**Well it's not enough just to be lonely.**_

_**I don't think that I could take another talk about it"**_

He felt Taker let him go, and through the haze of the pain- both physical and emotional- he watched the man that was his whole reason for everything; make his way out of the arena. In this one moment, this one empty moment, he felt more alone than he ever had in his life. And no one could see it. Though the tears threatened to fall, though the pain threatened to bring him to his knees, Shawn stood in that ring as he was meant to. He was supposed to be a defeated man. The fans didn't know that they were cheering a broken one.

"_**Just like me, you've got needs**_

_**And they're only a whisper away**_

_**And we've softly surrendered to these lives that we've**_

_**Tendered away"**_

Shawn finally made his way backstage. He was just going through the motions. His body was on auto-pilot and his mind was replaying every single moment of his life with Taker.

"_I have a confession" Shawn heard Taker growl from behind him. Shawn turned. He knew that voice. It had haunted his dreams for months. His attraction to the Undertaker had been unwelcome at best and distracting to say the least. He looked up at the older man, hoping to god that his eyes wouldn't betray him and that he would soon be able to breathe again. Taker stepped up to him, so there was scarcely any air between them._

_"What?" Shawn had finally managed to ask. He tried to sound bored, uninterested, but his heart was desperate to escape. _

_Taker looked at him for the longest time, before leaning down, his mouth a breath away from Shawn's ear. "I have to kiss you" he whispered. Taker's southern drawl sent shivers down Shawn's back and it was all Shawn could do to remain standing._

_"What?"_

_Taker didn't repeat his confession. Instead, his hand moved to the back of Shawn's neck and gently brought him closer. Shawn's eyes automatically closed, too scared to believe that this might actually be happening. Taker's lips on his own made it a reality. The kiss was soft, almost hesitant. Shawn leant into him and very nearly moaned aloud as he felt Taker's other hand press against the small of his back. _

That kiss had been everything. Every kiss after that had been just as perfect. It had been the beginning of everything. Never in his wildest imagination did Shawn think that it had been the beginning of a path that would lead to this. He was retiring and the love of his life wasn't going with him. Taker hadn't said a word. He had lied to him and in his heart, Shawn knew why. They had planned to retire together because Shawn didn't want the kind of relationship that most people in the WWE had. One on the road. One alone and at home. They rarely worked. It was hard, and it hurt and Shawn was too old for that.

"_**Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over**_

_**I don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong**_

_**Well it's enough just to be sorry.**_

_**Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in?"**_

Shawn saw Taker standing against a wall. As usual his heart skipped a couple of beats. This time it was not due to the excitement that Taker had always made him feel. His heart was giving up on him. It was petering out and it wouldn't be long now before it stopped completely. Shattered into a million pieces. He didn't want to end this. How do you end the only thing that ever mattered in your life? How do you tell yourself that it's necessary, when every fibre in your being needs that love to survive? He didn't want to end it and he was pretty certain he didn't have the courage to. He also knew his heart couldn't stand to have Taker stay with the company while he sat at home and waited. It was his time to leave. It was the right decision. He couldn't stay. He had done everything he had ever dreamed of and it was time to say goodbye. He had never thought he would have to say goodbye to the man he trusted his heart, body, soul and career to. Maybe he was just being paranoid? Maybe Taker had every intention of announcing his own retirement and walking out of this building with him, hand in hand.

Shawn took a deep breath and walked up to his lover. Taker kept his eyes down and Shawn's heart sank deeper.

"You're not retiring" Shawn forced himself to mutter. It wasn't a question and he already knew the answer. But he needed to hear it. He needed to not be living with the lie anymore.

"Babe..." Taker started. His eyes met Shawn's and they were pleading with him. For what? Acceptance? Understanding? Forgiveness?

"What about us?" Shawn whispered.

Taker pushed himself away from the wall and took Shawn's hand in his own, raising them and kissing them softly. "I love you. Nothing ever changes that. I just...I'm not ready. My heart is still in this company..."

"I thought your heart was with me?" Shawn replied. The words were almost impossible to get out. The pain in his heart was unbearable. His gaze dropped to the floor as the tears threatened to fall.

"Oh baby, it is. It's yours. Always. You know that. We can make this work" Taker whispered. His hands laced through Shawn's hair.

"It can't. I can't. You know that" Shawn sighed. Taker straightened. When Shawn looked up again he actually felt his heart split in two. Taker's green eyes glistened with tears. This was it. Taker turned and moved to walk away.

Shawn grabbed his hand. "_**I'm all that I'll ever be when you lay your hands over me"**_. He was putting his soul out for everyone to see. One last desperate attempt. The confession was painful but the most honest thing he could think of. He was nothing without his love.

Taker turned back quickly, took Shawn in his arms and kissed him. Although it was gentle, as Taker always was with Shawn, it was needy. It was like a goodbye. When they broke apart Taker hugged Shawn to him.

"_**Don't go weak on me please"**_ Shawn whispered into Taker's chest. He felt the taller man take a laboured breath and felt a tear stain his bare shoulder. Then he was let go. The cold hit him and Taker was halfway down the hallway before Shawn registered that he was watching his lover and his heart walk away from him for the last time.

"_**I know that it's weak But God help me I need this!**_" Shawn yelled. He no longer cared that everyone could hear him. Let them watch the showstopper fall apart if they wanted to. Nothing mattered anymore.

Taker stopped at the end of the hallway. He turned and stared at Shawn for a moment. He didn't look like the Undertaker anymore. The confident stance was gone. Shawn held his gaze, hoping against hope and yet knowing that there was no hope left. Taker slowly brought a finger to his lips. One last kiss for the Main Event, then nodded. He walked out the door without looking back. Shawn closed his eyes and leant against the wall for support. The tears he had managed to hold back slowly slid down his face.

"_**I would not sleep in this bed of lies**_

_**So toss me out, and turn in**_

_**And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes**_

_**I'm marking it down to learning**_

_**I'm marking it down to learning**_

_**Cos I can"**_


End file.
